Reading Toilet Poems in Mexico

Our Founder recently visited Mexico City (MX) and drove out to the town of Tepoztlán to look at some fun toilet poems in a convent. In Tepoztlán, the 500-year-old Temple and Ex-Convent of the Virgin of the Nativity is now known as Museo de la Natividad. This blog will explain the town and convent’s history and share some fun toilet poems.

A Mystical Town

Tepoztlán is a bustling little village off the slopes of the active volcano Popcatepetl, which makes it rich in natural energy sources. It has been long seen as a place with mystical powers—since 1500 BC. According to some myths, the town was where Ce Acatl Tolpiltzin Quetzalcoatl was born. The Aztec people subsequently built a temple atop a nearby hill in the 1200s.

A view of the town of Tepoztlán (Credit: Instagram@tepoztlanoficial)

In the mid-16th century, Spanish missionaries started evangelizing and converting the Indigenous community in Tepoztlán to Christianity – converting temples to churches and incorporating indigenous celebrations into Christian practices. But that doesn’t mean that the town lost its mystical charms—in the 2000s, it was temporarily named one of Mexico’s magic towns. People note that the town has a good vibe, and many flock to it to seek alternative and spiritual therapies, similar to Arizona’s Sedona region. Yoga retreats, Aztec sweat lodges, et cetera.

A Historical Ex-Convent

The convent in Tepoztlán has a long, tumultuous history. Dominican friars built it in the 1580s, passed to secular clergy during the Reform Laws in 1773, and eventually drifted into neglect. At different points, Mexican and French army groups used it.

The Spanish missionaries were not great at managing water sources and focused on growing fruit over water for the community. One of the panels in the museum shared that a traveler in 1746 wrote: "...they suffer from water scarcity and try to secure supplies of wood, corn, beans, and fruit in large quantities, as their kingdom contains more than 14,000 fruit trees." They also forced indigenous people in the area to work for the benefit of the Spanish conquerors through the convents.

Images of the ornate walls inside the Ex-Convent of the Virgin of the Nativity (Credit: FLUSH/K Worsham)

The National Institute of Anthropology and History restored it. In 1994, it was posted as a UNESCO site along with 15 other nearby early 16th-century monasteries that are also well-preserved and full of open spaces. There’s no doubt why it was registered as a World Heritage Site – the place is beautiful. It has ornate Spanish architectural designs and beautiful 16th-century paintings restored on its walls.

A view of the town from inside the museum (Credit: FLUSH/K Worsham)

The Toilets & Their Poems

In the convent, a beautiful ancient bath section sits in the corner of the first floor. You can see a stone washbasin by a window for private cleaning, with a nearby chimney to heat water. Further inside, there's a wall of toilet seats with small partitions between each.

The convent's private washing area (Credit: FLUSH/K Worsham)

Early in the convent, there were no bathrooms - friars would relieve themselves in its orchards. When living quarters were built on the first floor, they built bathroom stalls closer. The toilet holes drop into a drainage area, where the convent inhabitants could compost it in the gardens that grew food for the friars.

The convent's toilet stalls (Credit: FLUSH/K Worsham)

Above, each toilet stall has faded inscriptions framed with red paint. Are they prayers? Bible passages?

Nope – they are silly, bawdy toilet and defecation poems. Good, ole toilet humor.

A closer look of the faded inscriptions above the toilet stalls (Credit: FLUSH/K Worsham)

Don’t worry – these poems were written and placed in the convent in the 19th century. Manuel de Mata wrote the poems in the 1840s, and local intellect José Propociano Rojas painted them in the convent bathroom in 1895. 

The poems eventually eroded significantly—only the faintest ghosts remain. It wasn’t known what was on the walls until the restoration began, and a townsperson came forward with some toilet poems that seemed to match some of the legible writing.

Want to read these poems? Of course you do. Below is a table with the original Spanish and English translations.

Spanish	English (AI translated)
Si por un raro accidente te ensucias por presuroso o si fueras asqueroso, aquí hay agua suficiente y un excelente jabón; en fin, tienes proporción de salir limpio y aseado ; hazlo con mucho cuidado si tienes educación.	If by some strange accident you soil yourself in your haste, or if you are of filthy taste, here, enough water is present, along with excellent soap; in short, you have the scope to leave clean and refined; do so with care in mind if you have manners to cope.
Vázquez, Meléndez y Angulo todos los tres a nivel, aseguran que el papel es famoso para el culo. Entra aquí con disimulo, toma el papel con esmero, si eres fino y caballero y decente en el obrar, lo deberás de llevar para limpiarte el trasero.	Vázquez, Meléndez, and Angulo, all three in agreement, that paper serves famously for the wiping of one’s ass. Enter here with discretion, take the paper with due care, if you're noble and play fair, and decent in your ways, then you surely should embrace its use to wipe your derrière.
Nadie me podrá negar que en el mundo no hay placer mas grande que el comer, y después el evacuar ; qué placer tan singular que en él consiste la video, sin esto queda destruida nuestra salud y existencia. Este lugar con prudencia a todo sexo convida.	No one can ever deny that in this world so wide, there’s no greater joy inside than to eat and then let fly. Oh, what a singular delight, for in it lies the essence of life; without it, health desists, and our existence fades outright. This place, with prudence, welcomes all who dwell in any guise.
Soy infeliz inocente, aunque a mí me abren los ojos. yo recojo los despojos del juicioso y del demente. Sirvo al hombre muy prudente en la mejor ocasión, soy de su conservación instrumento apetecido: mas después de haber servido quedo de peor condición.	I am an innocent wretch, though my eyes are opened wide. I collect what’s cast aside by both the wise and those bereft. I serve the prudent man the best when the moment is just right, a tool he longs for in his plight, a means to keep him sound. Yet once my duty’s done, I’m found in a state of worse distress.
Si en comer eres decente, en vestir y en hablar, en el modo de evacuar no te muestres indecente. Manéjate muy prudente: en el hueco ó agujero acomoda tu trasero, todo en el, sin ensuciar las tablas, que es regular se porte así un caballero.	If in eating you are decent, in dressing and speech as well, then when you heed nature’s bell, let your manners be aligned. Conduct yourself with care in mind: in the hole or open space, set your rear in its right place, leave it all, but keep it neat, for it is only right and meet that a gentleman shows such grace.
No hay que cansarse, mortales: en obrar no hay excepciones, porque en todas las naciones en esto son muy iguales. De las materias fecales todos hacemos morcilla, y cuando la gana pilla dando al intestino tono, el Rey baja du su trono y el Papa deja su silla.	Do not grow weary, mortals all: in this act, none stand apart, for every nation plays its part, the need is universal law. From fecal matters, one and all, we fashion sausage, so to speak, and when the urge begins to peak, giving the gut its rightful due, the King steps down from his throne, and the Pope forsakes his pew.